What's that Smell?

"People think the blues is sad. They hear people moaning and such. That's not the blues. That's just somebody singing slow....The blues is about truth-telling."

-Alberta Hunter (Blues For All The Changes/Nikki Giovanni)


I smelled something on the bus this morning that made me stop & search my brain to remember what that scent was associated with, so I started thinking about hotels and the aroma it harbored always reminded me of a vacationing fragance then I started to rewind back to the last vacation I went on but I couldn't reminisce for too long 'cause I had to go 'make the doughnuts' & didn't want the remains of a daydream passed to overshadow my judgement at work

Well, truth be told I just didn't want to commit to memory those times when I thought I knew love. See...I was raised in the South, well the 'Spanish South' to be exact and as a limited conversational bi-lingual happily nappily headed child I fell in love with Collard Greens, Cornbread and Arroz con Pollo and as a little girl love was easy to find it either blessed my cheeks with a million kisses or it took a switch to my behind

Never having to search for love made it appear to be easy so as a woman I gave my love freely not knowing that Giving everything was no Guarantee that I would be Receiving... the same in Return this is when love started to turn, my heart was in a constant state of being burned, I continued to chase these City Boi's not noticing the blows that my spirit was taking got me crying over a bun that I thought was meant to bake in my oven the vocies in my head kept telling me this wasn't my husband, poor little girl fell in love with a man who openly referred to her as a bitch or a whore mistakened the feeling of his Penetration as a love she never felt before remembering the original love she was blessed with as a child has her longing for the days when her life didn't seem so hostile

So she choose a different path a road less travelled, battaling the lonliness at night accompanied with scarificies made throughout the day although she was filled with insecurities her Lord always had a way of making Thurderstorms look like slight drizzles in the end walking with her head held down she accidentally bumped into a man who kissed her aching heart replenishing her faith in brothas again

Walking side by side she sings to him a song about her childhood inhaling his presence while kisisng him softly he makes a proposal for me to be his wife I agree to continue to walk with him throughout this life for good or for bad for better or for worse realizing at that moment why God allowed me to endure the heartache, the pain and the curse with my head lookin up I see that the sky's the limit this world ain't so bad after all guess good guys with the capacity to transmit unconditional love into a woman do finish last after all